Is Fear Keeping You Back: Get A New F***ing Car


I am going to through myself under the bus today. You may be asking why. Well, the thing is that I don't want any of you to do the same thing that I was doing to myself. Firstly, let me state that I am an amazing writer. Not bragging, just explaining the main point of this post.



Fear. Fear can be your worst enemy or it can be your best friend. It depends on how you use it. You know, just like that crappy car in your driveway. (Not saying your car is shitty, but for the sake of argument, let us pretend that you have the shittiest car you have ever seen sitting there, and it is yours.) The car of course represents fear.

Now, you can either be embarrassed and hide inside your home so that you do not have to drive that monstrosity, OR you can get in it, drive to your job, and get you a new one. It is your choice! Don't get the metaphor? Ok, then here we go, here is my personal little story.

I am a great writer. I have been writing for years professionally, and many years before that just because I loved it so much. Painting a picture to manipulate the feelings of my reader in order for them to get a break from their daily stress has always been a passion of mine. I just love helping others, and this is a form in which I am comfortable doing so.

My point, after I had found the wonderful and horrid world of writing through online sources like Elance, Freelancer, Guru, and more, I then realized that I could write and earn a paycheck in order to care for my family. Great right? WRONG! What it did to me was hinder my ability to put for work of my own to my own specifications. I had a plan. I would write for them during the "working hours" and then I would work on my own pieces when I was on my own time. Well, it didn't work like that. I got so caught up in earning money because the electric bill was coming due, the kids needed clothes, or maybe a holiday was coming up. Either way, you see where I was at with that. Soon, all of my own projects were not just sat on the back burner, but they were actually packed away on a shelf collecting dust. I did this for about seven years. Long time, right?

So, as time passed working as a freelance writer or ghostwriter, I began to resent writing. It took away so much freedom from my life. On paper, it looked like the perfect job for a mother that could not afford babysitters or daycare. However, in actuality, it hurt. It hurt me as a person, as a mother, and definitely as a writer. I have written countless blog posts (for other people), numerous ebooks (for other people), and many, many other different pieces (for other people). Stating the fact that it was for other people means that it wasn't even published under my name, but others. It's like studying for a giant test to only have someone else put their name on it and receive the passing grade. It sucks ass.

Since, I have broken loose of this writing noose that I had voluntarily put around my own metaphoric neck. I know I can write. I know I am damn good at it. However, after seven long years of empty promises to myself about finally writing all the novels that I wanted to write, I kinda have stage fright. Fear has set in and now I am faced to procrastination due to "reasons" (rather excuses) because of the fear of failing. I have poured myself into work for others, now that it is time to pour myself into work for me, I ask myself, am I worth this? Will I let myself down again?

So many scared thoughts have entered my mind. Guess what, here is the point I was trying to make. I am getting into that shitty car and I am driving away. I am going to wave at all who stare and get to my job in which I will EARN A NEW CAR! (AKA Written novel.) It is all about how you look at your fear. Prove it wrong or be engulfed with it. It is all up to you. Just remember, it will take strength and faith in yourself.





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